Friday, August 1, 2014

Borderline


"It flows through my veins
Such is my lifeblood
Without, I am naught

The sugar on which
I survive and thrive
And keeps me alive

Of joy and then pain
Of love and sadness
Of passion and rage

Embraced by the void
In my heart and soul
Let me come heal you"


I am someone who is driven by her emotions, her passions. I am what we call an empath, especially very strong on the emotionnal side. Passions and emotions, are what my blood is made of. The music in my life brings it alive. It beats to the train of thoughts and dreams in my mind. Without it, I am but a shell, without meaning or goal in life.

Such is my curse.

I can go from happy, filled with joy and hope to angry and raging in an instant. I absorb the feelings of others, and they become an integral part of myself. I have no control over my emotions and their strength. As much as I have been trying to keep control, this extremely powerful urge to exteriorize them has been drawing me into difficult and delicate situations my whole life, towards my friends, family, and even in this vast virtual world we call internet.

Such is the rollercoaster of my life.

Love and joy can bring pain, a pain so intense, so vivid, you can almost touch it, but like a ghost, it is yet invisible, and the only way to distract yourself from it or get rid of it, is searching for another pain, a replacement for this first one, one you can see, touch, have control over... And once this crisis has come and passed, you then go on to fill this void again that has come, because without emotions or feels, you are but nothing, an empty shell without meaning.

Such is the life of the borderline person that I am.

P.S. I wrote this poem myself... my first ever in english.

No comments:

Post a Comment